Casual Abuse of Religion

slow and steady

Religion was important to me as a budding adolescent. Places of worship felt safe at the Presbyterian church near my maternal grandparents or with my paternal grandmother at the Baptist church. I gravitated to learning about what was pointed to as right and wrong even though I didn’t know how to sort it out in my life. Contradictions were everywhere.

Rules were guideposts until I figured out that my internal values often clashed against the supposed only truths of biblical nature. My husband and I attended a more conservative Baptist church. When I overheard deacons discussing a plan to stop any Black folks from entering its doors, the flags became too obvious to ignore. Slowly and steadily, I began my search for my truth, my intuitive sense of ‘gnosis’, my knowing.

My college studies in comparison religions opened a wide window to investigate. Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism were all new to me, but I was curious and pursued not only the main branches, but also various strains like Taoism and Sufi teachings.

When I found out that Christianity is an Abrahamic religion that traces it roots to patriarchy, I became even more interested. With the backdrop of history and visiting notable spiritual sites, I came face to face with Peruvian mysticism, another window into cultural beliefs.

Many connective tissues began to reveal patterns about how reverence and awe of the unknown was swept under the cloak of powerful leaders who wanted to claim all knowledge misappropriating who was allowed to know truth. A familiar pattern that followed the growth of populations can be traced back to antiquity.

Before there were written translations of ‘religious’ truths, there were markings in cave dwellings, on pottery and other artifacts. Evolution became obsessed with owning knowledge.

Sticking close to home and my intrigue with early Christianity, I read about the Gnostic discoveries and impact of the Nag Hammadi library that resulted from an archaeological find by an Egyptian peasant in December 1945, two years before I was born. Hermetic texts were revealed that were stunning to previous scholars in the Egyptian context. Carvings took on more metaphorical meaning. Interesting to me is that the word ‘heretic’ often used inappropriately throughout history literally comes from the root word hairetikos meaning ‘able to choose’. The word was weaponized to point to someone whose beliefs or actions were considered wrong by most people because they disagreed with generally accepted beliefs. Healers, Shamans, Witches, and women were targets.

The Gospel of Mary was discovered along with early translations of Thomas, James and others. Specifically in the Berlin Gnostic Codex Coptic version, the most complete Gospel of Mary, has six pages missing at the beginning and four in the middle. Relevant to me is who were the translators of popularized Christian texts and what was the context of their beliefs and motivations. More recently revised translations of ancient writings lead me to better understand patriarchy without the counter-balancing matriarchy. More balance is what I seek. Allowing humans to choose without blame and judgment is a balancing act.

What I have deduced is that some may see me as heretical because my beliefs and values are in contradiction to populist understandings about religion in the context of the 21^st century. Slowly and steadily antiquity is revealing humans have access to wisdom that trumps religion.